Hey, June! Here comes another June in the different years. Alhamdulillah yaAllah, You still giving me a life till nowadays. Yeaaaa baby, we've finally through half of a years!!! I have no idea what to talking about or something to share with ya Buddies. I-really-have-no-idea.... But yea, maybe today i wanted to share with you another random stories from my brain... That came from myself of course. Sooo yea, first of all, let me gave a never ending thanks to my Lord, Allah SWT, for the never ending happiness and for everything that happened in my life from back then till nowadays.. Over the past few years, my life seems to have taken a complete 180. And i think, this is what its called "grown up". I just want you to know that behind "Benazia" is Bena, a normal girl who sometimes falls asleep with her contact lenses on, or still has a panic attack when losing her mom at the Supermarket. A girl who cares what people think of her way too much, and a girl who sometimes drinks soda for breakfast.. I don't know how things got to how they are today, but I am so grateful for everything that ever happened in my life. And of course i am so grateful for single one of you who support me no matter what. Especially for my family that gives me a never ending loves and supports. And I definitely do need that.. I have some very exciting things coming up this year and there is always that small part of me that feels as though I should just creep back think that i couldn't through it. For an example, i'm going on a collage this year. And you know what? I haven't decided yet what collage i should choose. Adolf Hitler always wanted me to be an Interior Designer so i could work with him after i graduate, but i don't feel like it was for me.. There is also that part of me that is SO excited to live out things I only ever dreamed of as I was growing up; eventhough i don't really know what i'm dreaming about after all of this time. I mean, i ever dreamed about what i wanted to be when i was growing up, but i guess my dreams are too much till i don't even know what i'm up to anymore.. Fortunately, Adolf Hitler and Ibu Negara never force me to be what they wanted me to be. They gives me a freedom to choose my own way. But that's exactly what i'm scared about. I always always always have these though on my mind, "how if i fail? how if i make them disappointed? how if i never make them proud of me?". Not just them, i always scared if i couldn't make anyone proud of me, so i couldn't make me proud of myself too then. I worry too much about the negative people, that don't agree with the way this has all panned out. I've learnt now that "those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind", and there is no way i'm ditching the option to do the things i've always wanted just in case a few people disagree. I should live my own life, right? This is my own life and f*ck what everyone say. I know now what my life goal is, to make my parents proud of me no matter what it takes. That's my 'real' dream that i should, really should reach before it was too late.. I believe we all have that one same dream. I know we all wanted to make them proud of us. Then i realize, behind this spirit, is Bena who wanted to make all of my dreams comes true. And Bena is me, Benazia Arsyi Syafira who really wanted to do what they think i cannot do.. You know what, let's make a promise to our own selfs, a promise that no one could break, and of course, its just you who could break it. Just you who could make yourself disappointed by breaking your own promises. And that's how i wanted to do with my own promises..
Well, I feel like I just offloaded! haha there is definitely some food for thought, but I just wanted to clear up how I felt about all this recently. Of course I can only speak for myself, but you have to remember that behind the smiles, and the hugs and the screams and squeals, we are normal people, and we can find it overwhelming and daunting too. I just hope that those of you reading this are happy, and in turn that makes me happier than anything! :)
Oya! Just for your info guys, i am now have something so excited to do! You know, i'm now making a Hijab Tutorial videos on YouTube!!! I know i know i ever done it before, but that's video is fail! Its like, the quality of my handycam is not good enough. And so damn excited about my new video on my new YouTube Channel!!! Wohoooo! Make sure you catch all of my Tutorial hereeeee -> youtube.com/ZIARSYA and of course make sure you hit the subscribe button for another Hijab Tutorial and many more videos coming up neeeeeext!!!:D And here's some of my videos that i recently uploaded. Enjooooy!~
Feel free to give a thumbs up and leave a comment! But of course, please subscribe for my channel for another videos coming up!!! Thankyou soooo much for all your supports, Fellas!♥♥♥
Anywaaaay, thankyou so much for reading this update post! Hopefully you had some fun as much as i do! May Allah always bless us and inshAllah see ya guys on the next post on D.O.R.K!!! Ciao! xx
